MY LAGOS EXPERIENCE

I think it is safe to say that most people in Nigeria have had their own share of the “Lagos Experience”. Well this is mine, it is nothing spectacular or insane, but still I wanna share it. So sit back, read, enjoy and perhaps share??

It happened like every other normal story out there. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shinning and the birds chirping rendering out a melodious tune…Sorry I can’t do this, let’s try again.

When my mum said she is heading to Lagos I decided it was a good time as any to visit some long time friends of mine and get to experience a little bit of “Lagos Life”.

Before the trip I knew I had to face my two greatest fears, well not two greatest per say but seeing as the first greatest doesn’t make much sense, I mean we are in Nigeria and I don’t see any chance of that happening, but then again viruses do get out right? Btw that fear is the fear of Zombies just in case you are wondering. I know, I know, it is stupid but its my fear not yours so chill.

Anyways I had to prepare my mind for the journey ahead, and facing my fears. Which was 1. Fear of height…boarding a plane and flying to anywhere in the world counted as one. I mean I like my feet planted firmly on the ground you know. I like to feel the solid ground beneath me.

2. I had always feared taking a trip to Lagos. Stupid right? I know. I have this funny mentality about Lagos and I just don’t know why. Maybe I do. I have heard stories about how people get mugged, body parts missing, how if you are a JJC( Johnny just come…used to describe someone who is new to a place/area) people will use you to shine, the random sudden fights on the streets, you name it, and of course the latest…SARS. And it didn’t help I am what you call a “small town girl” who has never really traveled before and on air for that matter.

So there you have it, and I had to face both of them at once. Whew!!!! I mean I had to prep my mind and all, positive thinking and shit. You know plane crashing here and there and all that. I mean that shit is scary as fuck. And there I was about to get into a death trap in a fancy and sophisticated way called an air plane * rolls eyes*

The flight to Lagos wasn’t that bad. I mean aside the fact that I was momentarily deaf from time to time and had to swallow saliva that I didn’t really have at that time to clear my hearing. And the plane dropping altitude and gaining it again at each point. Not like I was scared or anything I just didn’t like the bumpy ride. And my mum tried telling me some stuff about flying and at a point I had to roll my eyes like “Mum chill, I know its my first time flying and all but I have read about it tons of times in novels and shit. And it isn’t like my first rodeo drive” (metaphorically speaking) in my minds eye anyways.

We landed at Lagos international airport ( hope that’s what it’s called) and I am like “hmm…not so bad”, Lagos is actually looking good. I was amazed we had to get into a bus from the runway to the terminal. In calabar we had to walk to the plane. Lagos airport is sha big. Getting outside I was hit by the stench, I quickly sent a message to my friend: “Your Lagos is smelling” and he replied with “ehn we like it like that”. I never knew Calabar air was so fresh until I inhaled the one in Lagos. Hehehe

Lagos roads are terrible pardon me to say, and there are refuse dumps every inch of the way. I had a bumpy ride to my sister’s place. I couldn’t even type properly on my phone on the way there. Smh .

After getting to my destination and final bus top (my sisters place). I bluntly refused to step outside the house for fear of getting lost or stolen seeing as I am so tiny, I could be put into a bag and no one would know about it, or loosing valuable body part. Yes that’s the mentality I have about Lagos. I mean its so fucking bad it’s scary.

My friend had to come to where I was to see me and take me out from there, and he also had to order uber. My sis kept telling me “We don’t say Welcome to Lagos here, we say this is Lagos you have to shine your eye o”

That only added to my already fucked up mentality. I had to call uber to anywhere I visited and my friends had to literarily track my movement on the uber app cos I was scared of getting kidnapped. It was that bad. Lmao

Ohhh did I mention our pilot was such a fine specimen? Like omg mm mm mm…such eye candy. At first I was like am I putting my life in the hands of this person?

And then I had to really take a good look at the chocolaty goodness. The hostesses were all hmphh. Whatever its not like they are fine sef. *Throws face one side*

Anywho…I visited the Maryland mall where I was a bit scared of getting on the escalator, I felt like if I don’t step on it properly I might fall off and me falling wasn’t an option at all. Instead I stood there laughing embarrassingly at myself until I gathered enough nerve to get on it. (No one should dare laugh, it was scary but I ain’t ashamed to say it). I also had plans of visiting the beach and probably take pics but was saddened to hear it has been closed down, so sad 😕

Balogun market is a different story all on its own. It was like a tug of war with all the pushing and shoving. People pulling at you to buy their wares, everyone rushing every which way. I almost fell in the market but I am glad I didn’t.

My stay in Lagos is ended and I am taking another flight home, I wish i could have one more week and spend some more time with friends. There are some people I never got to see, hopefully I will on my next visit. And yes I plan to visit again even with my fear of flying and Lagos. But right now I have to get back to work(Tongue out…hehehe)

Btw who else notices how the clouds look from way up in the sky? Such beautiful sight, all fluffy and bouncy looking. I love staring at it. God is indeed wonderful to create something so beautiful. The way they each stand apart is amazing. If you never noticed this please do next time you fly. I wish I had a window seat, I envied those that did and was mad at them for not even bothering to stare out the window. Guess they are tired of seeing it yea? I don’t think I will ever get tired of it. I pray I have a window seat on my next flight. 😀

Nerves still on edge but I will survive. I am pressed and I know if my younger sister was here she will yab ( tease )me about it. Something about knowing toilet everywhere I go. As if I am MTN everywhere you go.

Gotta go now as the plane is about to take off. Laters loves. Xoxo yours truly CreativelyInsane.

DAIRY DAY 4 – THE FIGHT 😮😖

Dear Dairy…..

Second day of his absence we had a little fight. Wouldn’t go into details but something to do with sex.

Midway into the fight I was really mad and already canceling thoughts of him in my head. Getting emotionally ready to delete trace of him from memory or anywhere else.

I thought he was different, how could he be thinking towards that direction right now, we have a whole lot of other things to talk about. But then he apologized and explained himself. Got me to calm down and even smile.

And all was well with the world again. I really do like him. Don’t I??….😏😊

SUICIDE: PSYCHOLOGICAL OR COWARDANCE?

I have always been on the opinion that nothing should ever make anyone take their own life, but I have come to realize that there are circumstances surrounding this sort of behaviour.

Our minds and thoughts are very powerful because they determine our every action. Before anything is done we must have thought about it several times…over and over again, and then come to a conclusion.

I believe no one actually wakes up and decides to take their own life on a whim. The rate of individuals taking their lives in Nigeria is growing rapidly and becoming quiet alarming. And you begin to wonder; “why would anyone commit such an act, what could be his/her reason for doing such?”

Yes, such act can be committed based on very trivial matters, but what you don’t know is that everybody handles stress, situations differently.

People are wired differently, our emotions can be very overwhelming. Matters of the heart can be very complicated.

Instead of judging and condemning the acts of others we should instead seek/ understand their action.Look deeper and see beyond the surface.

People deal with stress everyday, trauma, heartbreaks, poverty, diseases, etc. In all this one thing stands out…Loneliness. We go through all this alone, different trials in life and we do it alone. Most times we are surrounded by friends, family, even wealth, but we are still alone. How can this be you ask? Here is how:

Lets take Nigeria for example, we joke about everything. No one is willing to help, no one wants to know about your problems. Why should they? They got issues of their own who is going to help with it?

You tell someone your problem, how you feel, what is bringing you down, making you sad, making you cry. Why you are acting the way you are. And they laugh at you, they call you weak and stupid, they make jokes and brush it off, telling you to go and sleep or “park well”. They just don’t care. No one listens to you, no one wants to know.

You say how can a “correct” Nigerian like this go and kill himself? “Wetin for this world one make me commit suicide?” But like i said we handle issues differently, not everyone is made the same.

In foreign countries help is being provided for such cases, there is even a hotline you can call when you start feeling suicidal. But personally i think its still the same in the end…No one listens.

Your friends say call them when you feel better and back to your old self, your family pushes you off to the psychologist because they don’t ” understand you”, the psychologist diagnoses you based on his analysis and gives you several pills to take to “help you cope” and very soon you start abusing these pills because nothing seems to work. Finally you are right back where you started..and still ALONE..trying to deal, trying to find your way back.

You are surrounded by family, friends, people. Laughing and smiling, willing yourself to forget, to let go. You talk and laugh with them but it doesn’t reach your eyes, or soul.

When you finally find someone to talk to..they listen, but don’t listen, they don’t hear you, they don’t make an attempt at understanding, because they don’t see a problem. No one cares.

Things start piling up, from this to that and that. You are over sensitive, you stop laughing, stop being yourself. Instead you are cooped up within yourself, the thoughts keep building up, can’t sleep, no escape, can’t talk to no one about it, no escape. That is when some start doing drugs, gambling, partying, joining bad gangs, stealing, anything to take your mind off, a little piece of your own Euphoria where ever you can find it. Dealing in whatever way you can. Many find escape better than others. In Painting, Music, Dancing, Writing..But it also fades by after a while. And those thoughts crawls their way back to the surface once again, like demons clawing at your very Soul.

One day everything breaks out. You feel a sudden rage about everything. You lost a hand at gambling, you can’t remember where you hid the drugs, the drink, your bf/gf suddenly cheated, someone lied, you lost a bet. Something, anything…all it takes is just one little push and Bam!! you can’t take it anymore.

And even though you know it’s a SIN. Even though you know it’s BAD. You do it anyway. Just to escape it all.

DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES.

YOU ARE PAST CARING.

And then it’s Lights Out…

DAY 2 – SECOND DATE

Dear dairy, today went ok I woke up with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. I was really excited this morning because i couldn’t wait to meet him again. 

We chatted for long last night. He said he was gonna come get me later in the day. Today is Thursday and I was home. Waited the whole day for his call but it didn’t come, tried calling but the number was switched off. Am beginning to think he wouldn’t be showing up anymore,but I still had hope. 
He came to my place later this evening, whoa!! I wasn’t ready!! He waited while I got ready and few minutes later we took off.

He took me to a football game which he participates in with some friends for fun. Am not a big fan of football but what’s a girl to do, I had to show my support to him, atleast  I tried to until I got really bored and slept off!!!!…Ha!!! Hope he didn’t notice. 

He did notice something was wrong.  I wasn’t really happy we went to a football game, i thought we were going to have an alone time and talk more about ourselves. He tried to get me to talk but didn’t really know how to go about it. The ride home was pretty quiet as  I had a lot on my mind, brooding and all. 

 We finally got home and I kind of expected him to try something like a kiss or hug but nothing of the sort happened. He walked me to the gate, then told me he would be taking a trip out of town. I didn’t like that one bit, but nodded and said ok, deep down I knew I was gonna miss him in a way. Falling for him already? I definitely hope not!!!!….

RAVINGS OF A DISGRUNTLED CITIZEN

Morning my dear Brothers and sisters, boys and girls of all ages, friends, foe, etc etc.

 I woke up today feeling pretty good and happy. That is until I was ready to go to work. So i have decided to come here and rave about it. These are what blogs are made for is it not? Borrowing the phrase of a very good friend of mine. *flips weave and clears throat* This is why am mad.

We all know about the situation of our darling dear country Nigeria right? Of course we do anyone who doesn’t must be living under a rock. 

Anyways…the situation of our dear country never really bothered me before.,that is until today. Things rise up, things go down, no fuel, no light, no water, no President,no Governor (CRS) but we all still survive right? Cos we are Nigerians and that’s what we do: Survive. 

We smile and laugh while suffering and still find a way to look good. Our moto is no longer “Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress” but “Suffering and smiling, Corruption and Disunity” and making jokes and mimes about it all over the internet and social media. I mean thank God for social media o. Now u can just open you phone laugh laugh laugh, drink water and go and sleep. That is if you even have money to buy data, or battery on your phone.

Our leaders are not even helping matters, people we voted for, put into power to speak for us are the ones using our head to wipe floor now.

We have disappearing President and Governor (Governor of Cross River State). Why campaign if you knew you aren’t strong even to carry out the duties and responsibilities given to you, why struggle for power if you know you won’t sit one place or do anything profitable with it? Am not one to concern myself with matters of politics even though am a Political Scientist, but mehn am sick and tired of shit mehn. Am sick and tired with all this bs going on in Nigerian.

People look for ways to exploit each other. Buhari is sick, they increase price of tomatoes. Buhari has traveled to China price of transportation will increase. Cat born Kerosine is 300 naira, Chicken cross road palm oil is 900 naira a litre. Wetin sef? Ogini? In short I don vex. Make we change this English to correct pidgin abi na who English epp? Yes o I can speak correct and proper English forget anything. 

See our graduates roaming the streets with certificates that no one wants to look at. They make you go to school and work hard, read book cram book, drink coffee chew gum, soak leg inside cold water, go to classes at night to read and mosquitoes doing birthday celebration feasting on your legs, all because you are trying to read so you can make good grades. So you can get a good position for yourself in society. All to no avail because one yeye person that has managed to have position somewhere in one company or office, would not want to employ someone that has the capacity to do the job needed but will want to turn it to family business. Employ your daughter, your son, your niece that is in year one in university will need the job, your unborn baby all join. Our graduates are roaming the streets with nothing to do. Certificates wasting away and rotting in their bags or becoming feats for rats.

Taxi and market people will always look for ways to cheat you. You are fair that means you have money they increase price, you wear Corper uniform enter taxi or market that means you have money, they increase price. Like I said some things never use to bother me because I just manage and pray that it gets better. But right now am raving mad. Why must others suffer for another mans greed? Cost of living is high but nobody wants to know. Yes we are all struggling we are managing, doing the best we can. So why can’t we help each other? You dunno where the next person is coming from or what is going on in their life. Stop seeing dollar or naira sign when you look at a person. Am addressing this to all the taxis and market people out there. Stop it!! Enough is enough!! Ahh ahh!!!…. Na them dey vex me pass. Especially in Cross River State. 

Now I don’t know what happened to the fuel situation here, I don’t know if its all over the country or not. And I don’t want to know cos I don’t care, not really. What I care about is to be able to leave my house and go to work peacefully without anyone trying to rip me off because am fair or smell nice. One day things will be fine and going well, wake up next morning the country is in chaos. 

Our esteem dear Govornor has gone and changed the logo of Cross River State to one ugly looking logo. I no know who send am work. People will stay and look for where to siffon money from. Wetin concern CRS logo with you? Who send you work? The one wey them send you you no do. 

Now you all know the reason for my ravings and I feel much better to have let it all here. So am done for now. Let us continue to pray that God will save us all from this our great country Nigeria. That is if he hasn’t abandoned us too. 

Since every body now is not staying in their country but traveling to China and America and Canada. Let me too come and be going. For those of you that are still here please alert me when the situation of things changes. *brakes private private jet and stylishly catwalks from view* (those of you who get the humor in this, congrats you are intelligent, those that didn’t should wait for my next coming).

DEAR DIARY

DAY ONE – THE MEETING 

Dear dairy….today I met someone. He seems cool and exciting . We chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. He promised to call and meet up.

 We did hook up, he came over to where I work and we went to a calm and relaxed atmosphere, found a cozy nook in a corner and went on to talk about ourselves.

 I found him exciting and caring enough. Free spirited, made me laugh a lot…guess he has a good sense of humour or just wanted to get me to relax. Whichever it was..wth I had fun!!!.. 

  Mum called, had to rush home… Didn’t really want to leave but I had to.

 He took me home, we said our goodbyes and promised to meet again…….

NOCTURAL

I found out recently that the only time I get inspiration to write, and actually do some writing is at night. I don’t know if it happens to anyone else.

When I can’t sleep, and I am all curled up in bed alone, and trying to get some sleep.Especially on a cold night like this one. I get inspiration, thoughts starts coming in, words forming, stories appearing out of nowhere. Then my fingers start flying all over the keyboard of my phone or laptop as I type away.

I like that. I like the feeling it brings, I like when you are able to write and everything just falls into place, you don’t need to strain or experience that awful writers block phase. Gosh how I hate it.

I remember one time I was writing a good story, I was on my way back from work, while in the car, I just felt a really good story coming on. I had the plot and cast all lined up, My pen and notepad was ready, and I had started writing fervently when all of a sudden I stopped, and I couldn’t remember what I was about to write next. I just went blank, staring into space and trying my damnest to remember. Yet nada, zilch, zero, nothing. That was an awful experience.

It was very embarrassing and annoying. I hate when that happens in the middle of a story.

Now I think I got it all figured out. Cold rainy night is the best time for me to write. That is, when I am not curled up in a blanket sleeping soundly. Hehehe….

IN LOVE WITH MY DOCTOR

Hi…My name is Mandy, and I am in love with my doctor.

It all started when I woke up to a burning sensation in my chest one morning. At first I ignored it, thinking it was nothing serious, and that it will disappear. But it persisted to the point that I began to find it hard to breath.

Mum was beside herself with worry. She had told me to see the doctor when it first started, but I ignored her. And so she put her foot down and made me go.

See the thing with me is that I hate hospitals and I hate drugs. One would think growing up in a hospital I would be used to this by now, but truth was I was just tired. Tired of pumping myself full with different medications to help me stay alive, all I wanted was just to be normal and lead a normal life. Why must I take meds for every little thing? Why can’t I be like the rest of my siblings? Why, why, why???!!!.

I see I got you all confused when I talked about “growing up in the hospital” Here, let me explain…

The thing is I have leukemia. Sucks right? Yea..all my life I have had to take precautions about what I eat, and basically how to live my life. I literally grew up in the hospital because of frequent attacks from my health condition.

Most times I was placed on certain medications that help me stay strong. That is until my body starts to reject it and then a new one is prescribed.

So, back to the story…Mum wasn’t taking any chances and I had to go. On getting there, I noticed it wasn’t the usual doctor on call but a different one. The old one had been transferred. Oh well…guess he will just have to do. Several tests where taken including X-ray scans. It was then discovered that one of my lungs had fallen apart, I have a collapsed lung!!!.. I sat wide eyed, staring at the doctor, mouth agape, trying to process what he was saying. I mean I was hearing him but my mind was finding it hard to register anything. WTF!!!! A collapsed long??? This can’t be happening. These are things you see in a movie. Surely it doesn’t happen in real life. How can one person suffer this much? How? Whyy?? These were the thoughts running through my mind. My mind was in turmoil. I didn’t realize I had began to cry. This is it….I was gonna die. Goodbye world. Large pearls of water were just dropping, I was staring unseenly into space. Didn’t notice when the doctor had come around to my side and had his arm around me trying to comfort me. Assuring me everything was gonna be fine.

It was then I turned to look at him. He had glasses on which made his eye seem bigger, oval face itched with concern and worry, long pointed nose, thin lips pressed together. My gaze wondered back to his face again, studying him more. He had nice caring black eyes, clean shaved face and low cut hair and he really smelled nice.

There was nothing really special about his looks, I mean you couldn’t say he was drop dead gorgeous. I guess he was just normal looking. I didn’t notice when the tears had stopped coming. I found myself nodding to something he was saying, taking a deep breath I wiped my tears.

He explained that because of the collapsed lung I have been finding it difficult to breath, and because I didn’t know about it and have been going about my business like usual, it has now put a strain on the other lung causing it to work overtime trying to keep up, because it was now doing the work of two. He took his time to explain things to me, breaking it to a level even a child would understand.

Tests also showed that my immune system was down. He had to place me on admission, you know the usual drill.

During my time there, Dr George Miles made sure I got the best medical care. He took his time assessing me, asking me questions and writing some of the stuffs down in my file. (the medical stuffs) he also asked some personal stuffs too. And damn could he ask them.

I noticed Dr Miles was different from the other doctors I have met. He takes his time to create a rapport with his patients, making them comfortable and interacting with them like he was talking to his buddies. I liked that in him. And he made me laugh a lot which I liked doing. I guess he was trying to take my mind off the situation on ground, and I was glad.

He wasn’t like other doctors who come in with stern faces and superior carriage, do their jobs and go. He tackles the matter from the root.

While at the hospital, after a series of drips and injections. I went to sleep. That was when I had a dream about my doctor. An erotic dream at that!!!

Omg!!! I woke up with a start, hot and bothered. I looked around and found the Doctor beside my bed checking my drip, he turned and looked at me with a weird look on his face, then asked

“are you alright?” to which I answered yes..he said he heard me making noises and he came over to check if I was ok…”oh dear” I thought to myself hoping I didn’t say the things I was screaming in my dream out here. I blushed and looked away. But my eyes kept straying to him as he made his rounds, watching him closely.

I couldn’t believe I had a wet dream about my doctor!!!!

Later that day I was discharged and went home. I had the same dream again that night. I woke up the next morning with the doctor in mind.

All morning I was getting ready for work I kept replaying the moments I had spent with the doctor, his smile was amazing it lights up his eye. And that glasses of his looks cute perched on his nose. I decided the doctor was cute after all and made a mental note to see him that day. Which I did, and we spent time talking and it was amazing.

After that day I kept seeing the doctor, to him it was a friendly visit, but to me it was so much more!! Oh how I wish he knew it. I keep fantasizing on how he will notice how in love I am with him one day and how he will give me a knee shaking kiss, which will leave me breathless.

The Doctor became my crush, my drug, my addiction. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I Am sure everyone in the clinic knew I was in love
with him but him. He was so clueless it was cute. Another reason I couldn’t stay away.

COME BACK

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s me once again. Your one and only run away blogger… Well am back again..,I say that a lot don’t I? Anyway i mean it this time.., I also say that a lot.., *sigh*…..Lets try this again shall we? 🙂

So this is me here, again…, like i said before. Am gonna try very hard this time around to keep this blog alive and thriving. I promised fun and exciting, haven’t been able to deliver on that either..gonna do that also. To show i mean my word this time, I wrote something new, something different, something…… ok that’s all i got on the somethings.

This new Something is a poem, my first ever. So read, enjoy and please feel free to criticize, your criticism will help me do a better job.(still aspiring to be a world renowned blogger and writer). Also go easy on me yea? Its my first time… *wink wink* Enjoy, more to come soon.

TREASURE

You are my greatest Treasure
Of this I am Sure
No one makes me feel such Pleasure
Not even under Pressure

We met when we took the Train
Eyes clashed as it began to Rain
I felt it like a Sprain
And my blood began to Drain

The rain fell Faster
My heart felt Lighter
Gladden with Laughter
As the ground got Wetter

We smiled at each other
The train going further
Eyes speaking Volumes
Knowing we both have Values

You came towards me Then
My heart screamed Amen
Taking hold of my Hand
I knew I had found something Grand

You are my greatest Treasure
Nothing else can Measure