MY LAGOS EXPERIENCE

I think it is safe to say that most people in Nigeria have had their own share of the “Lagos Experience”. Well this is mine, it is nothing spectacular or insane, but still I wanna share it. So sit back, read, enjoy and perhaps share??

It happened like every other normal story out there. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shinning and the birds chirping rendering out a melodious tune…..Sorry I can’t do this, let’s try again.

When my mum said she is heading to Lagos I decided it was a good time as any to visit some long time friends of mine and get to experience a little bit of “Lagos Life”.

Before the trip I knew I had to face my two greatest fears, well not two greatest per say but seeing as the first greatest doesn’t make much sense, I mean we are in Nigeria and I don’t see any chance of that happening, but then again viruses do get out right?. Btw that fear is the fear of Zombies just in case you are wondering. I know, I know, it is stupid but its my fear not yours so chill.

Anyways I had to prepare my mind for the journey ahead, and facing my fears. Which was 1. Fear of height…boarding a plane and flying to anywhere in the world counted as one. I mean I like my feet planted firmly on the ground you know. I like to feel the solid ground beneath me.

2. I had always feared taking a trip to Lagos. Stupid right? I know. I have this funny mentality about Lagos and I just don’t know why. Maybe I do. I have heard stories about how people get mugged, body parts missing, how if you are a JJC people will use you to shine, the random sudden fights on the streets, you name it, and of course the latest…. SARS.

So there you have it, and I had to face both of them at once. Whew!!!! I mean I had to prep my mind and all, positive thinking and shit. You know plane crashing here and there and all that. I mean that shit is scary as fuck. And there I was about to get into a death trap in a fancy and sophisticated way called an air plane * rolls eyes*

The flight to Lagos wasn’t that bad. I mean aside the fact that I was momentarily deaf from time to time and had to swallow saliva that I didn’t really have at that time to clear my hearing. And the plane dropping altitude and gaining it again at each point. Not like I was scared or anything I just didn’t like the bumpy ride. And my mum tried telling me some stuff about flying and at a point I had to roll my eyes like “Mum chill, I know its my first time flying and all but I have read about it tons of times in novels and shit. And it isn’t like my first rodeo drive” (metaphorically speaking) in my minds eye anyways.

We landed at Lagos international airport ( hope that’s what it’s called) and am like “hmm…not so bad, Lagos is actually looking good. I was amazed we had to get into a bus from the runway to the terminal. In calabar we had to walk to the plane. Lagos airport is sha big. Getting outside I was hit by the stench, I quickly sent a message to my friend: “Your Lagos is smelling” and he replied with “ehn we like it like that”. I never knew Calabar air was so fresh until I inhaled the one in Lagos. Hehehe

Lagos roads are terrible pardon me to say, and there are refuse dumps every inch of the way. I had a bumpy ride to my sister’s place. I couldn’t even type properly on my phone on the way there. Smh .

After getting to my destination and final bus top (my sisters place). I bluntly refused to step outside the house for fear of getting lost or stolen seeing as I am so tiny, I could be put into a bag and no one would know about it, or loosing valuable body part. Yes that’s the mentality I have about Lagos. I mean its so fucking bad it’s scary. My friend had to come to where I was to see me and take me out from there, and he also had to order uber. My sis kept telling me “We don’t say Welcome to Lagos here, we say this is Lagos you have to shine your eye o” That only added to my already fucked up mentality. I had to call uber to anywhere I visited and my friends had to literarily track my movement on the uber app cos I was scared of getting kidnapped. It was that bad. Lmao

Ohhh did I mention our pilot was such a fine specimen? Like omg mm mm mm…such eye candy. At first I was like I am putting my life in the hands of this person? And then I had to really take a good look at the chocolaty goodness. The hostesses were all…hmphh… Whatever its not like they are fine sef. *Throws face one side*

Anywho…I visited the Maryland mall where I was a bit scared of getting on the escalator, I felt like if I don’t step on it properly I might fall off and me falling wasn’t and option at all. Instead I stood there laughing embarrassingly at myself until I gathered enough nerve to get on it. (No one should dare laugh, it was scary but I ain’t ashamed to say it). I also had plans of visiting the beach and probably take pics but was saddened to hear it has been closed down, so sad 😕

Balogun market is a different story all on its own. It was like a tug of war with all the pushing and shoving. People pulling at you to buy their wares, everyone rushing every which way. I almost fell in the market but I am glad I didn’t.

My stay in Lagos is ended and I am taking another flight home, I wish i could have one more week and spend some more time with friends. They are some people I never got to see, hopefully I will on my next visit. And yes I plan to visit again even with my fear of flying and Lagos. But right now I have to get back to work(Tongue out…hehehe)

Btw who else notices how the clouds look from way up in the sky? Such beautiful sight, all fluffy and bouncy looking. I love staring at it. God is indeed wonderful to create something so beautiful. The way they each stand alone is amazing. If you never noticed this please do next time you fly. I wish I had a window seat, I envied those that did and was mad at them for not even bothering to stare out the window. Guess they are tired of seeing it yea? I don’t think I will ever get tired of it. I pray I have a window seat on my next flight. 😀

Nerves still on edge but I will survive. I am pressed and I know if my younger sister was here she will yab me about it. Something about knowing toilet everywhere I go. As if I am MTN everywhere you go.

Gotta go now as the plane is about to take off. Laters loves. Xoxo yours truly CreativelyInsane.

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DAIRY DAY 4 – THE FIGHT ðŸ˜®ðŸ˜–

Dear Dairy…..

Second day of his absence we had a little fight. Wouldn’t go into details but something to do with sex.

Midway into the fight I was really mad and already canceling thoughts of him in my head. Getting emotionally ready to delete trace of him from memory or anywhere else.

I thought he was different, how could he be thinking towards that direction right now, we have a whole lot of other things to talk about. But then he apologized and explained himself. Got me to calm down and even smile.

And all was well with the world again. I really do like him. Don’t I??….😏😊

SUICIDE: PSYCHOLOGICAL OR COWARDANCE?

I have always been on the opinion that nothing should ever make anyone take their own life, but I have come to realize that there are circumstances surrounding this sort of behaviour.

Our minds and thoughts are very powerful because they determine our every action. Before anything is done we must have thought about it several times…over and over again, and then come to a conclusion.

I believe no one actually wakes up and decides to take their life just like that. The rate of individuals taking their lives in Nigeria is growing rapidly. And you will be like “why did this one do such a stupid thing as this? See his/her reasons self, it doesn’t make sense. He/she is so stupid!!”

Yes they did it based on a very trivial matter, but what you don’t know is that everybody handles stress, situations differently. We are all wired different, our emotions can be very overwhelming. Matters of the heart can be very complicated.

Instead of judging we should instead try to understand. Look deeper and see beyond the surface.

People deal with stress everyday, trauma, heartbreaks, poverty, diseases, etc. In all this one thing stands out…Loneliness. We go through all this alone, different trials in life and we do it alone. Most times we are surrounded by friends, family, even wealth, but we are still alone. How can this be you ask? Here is how:

Lets take Nigeria for example, we joke about everything. No one is willing to help, no one wants to know about your problems. Why should they? They got issues of their own who is going to help with it?

You tell someone your problem, how you feel, what is bringing you down, making you sad, making you cry. Why you acting this way or that. And they laugh at you, they call you weak and stupid, they make jokes and brush it off..telling you to go and sleep or “park well”. They just don’t care. No one listens to you, no one wants to know.

You say how can a correct Nigerian like this go and kill himself? “Wetin for this world one make me commit suicide?” But like i said we handle issues differently, not everyone is made the same.

In foreign countries help is being provided for such cases, there is even a hotline you can call when you start feeling suicidal. But personally i think its still the same in the end…No one listens.

Your friends say call them when you feel better and back to your old self, your family pushes you off to the psychologist because they don’t ” understand you”, the psychologist diagnoses you based on his analysis and gives you several pills to take to “help you cope” and very soon you start abusing these pills because nothing seems to work. Finally you are right back where you started..and still ALONE..trying to deal, trying to find your way back.

You are surrounded by family, friends, people. Laughing and smiling, willing yourself to forget, to let go. You talk and laugh with them but it doesn’t reach your eyes, or soul.

When you finally find someone to talk to..they listen, but don’t listen, they don’t hear you, they don’t make an attempt at understanding, because they don’t see a problem. No one cares.

Things start piling up, from this to that and that. You are over sensitive, you stop laughing, stop being yourself. Instead you are cooped up within yourself, the thoughts keep building up, can’t sleep, no escape, can’t talk to no one about it, no escape. That is when some start doing drugs, gambling, partying, joining bad gangs, stealing, anything to take your mind off, a little piece of your own Euphoria where ever you can find it. Dealing in whatever way you can. Many find escape better than others. In Painting, Music, Dancing, Writing..But it also fades by after a while. And the thoughts fights their way in once again, like demons clawing at your very Soul.

Then one little push, sudden rage about something. You lost a hand at gambling, you can’t remember where you hid the drugs, the drink, your bf/gf suddenly cheated, someone lied, you lost a bet. Something, anything…you can’t take it anymore.

And even though you know it’s a SIN. Even though you know it’s BAD. You do it anyway. Just to escape it all.

DAMN THE CONSEQUENCES.

YOU ARE PAST CARING……..

DAY 2 – SECOND DATE

Dear dairy, today went ok I woke up with a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. I was really excited this morning because i couldn’t wait to meet him again. 

We chatted for long last night. He said he was gonna come get me later in the day. Today is Thursday and I was home. Waited the whole day for his call but it didn’t come, tried calling but the number was switched off. Am beginning to think he wouldn’t be showing up anymore,but I still had hope. 
He came to my place later this evening, whoa!! I wasn’t ready!! He waited while I got ready and few minutes later we took off.

He took me to a football game which he participates in with some friends for fun. Am not a big fan of football but what’s a girl to do, I had to show my support to him, atleast  I tried to until I got really bored and slept off!!!!…Ha!!! Hope he didn’t notice. 

He did notice something was wrong.  I wasn’t really happy we went to a football game, i thought we were going to have an alone time and talk more about ourselves. He tried to get me to talk but didn’t really know how to go about it. The ride home was pretty quiet as  I had a lot on my mind, brooding and all. 

 We finally got home and I kind of expected him to try something like a kiss or hug but nothing of the sort happened. He walked me to the gate, then told me he would be taking a trip out of town. I didn’t like that one bit, but nodded and said ok, deep down I knew I was gonna miss him in a way. Falling for him already? I definitely hope not!!!!….

RAVINGS OF A DISGRUNTLED CITIZEN

Morning my dear Brothers and sisters, boys and girls of all ages, friends, foe, etc etc.

 I woke up today feeling pretty good and happy. That is until I was ready to go to work. So i have decided to come here and rave about it. These are what blogs are made for is it not? Borrowing the phrase of a very good friend of mine. *flips weave and clears throat* This is why am mad.

We all know about the situation of our darling dear country Nigeria right? Of course we do anyone who doesn’t must be living under a rock. 

Anyways…the situation of our dear country never really bothered me before.,that is until today. Things rise up, things go down, no fuel, no light, no water, no President,no Governor (CRS) but we all still survive right? Cos we are Nigerians and that’s what we do: Survive. 

We smile and laugh while suffering and still find a way to look good. Our moto is no longer “Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress” but “Suffering and smiling, Corruption and Disunity” and making jokes and mimes about it all over the internet and social media. I mean thank God for social media o. Now u can just open you phone laugh laugh laugh, drink water and go and sleep. That is if you even have money to buy data, or battery on your phone.

Our leaders are not even helping matters, people we voted for, put into power to speak for us are the ones using our head to wipe floor now.

We have disappearing President and Governor (Governor of Cross River State). Why campaign if you knew you aren’t strong even to carry out the duties and responsibilities given to you, why struggle for power if you know you won’t sit one place or do anything profitable with it? Am not one to concern myself with matters of politics even though am a Political Scientist, but mehn am sick and tired of shit mehn. Am sick and tired with all this bs going on in Nigerian.

People look for ways to exploit each other. Buhari is sick, they increase price of tomatoes. Buhari has traveled to China price of transportation will increase. Cat born Kerosine is 300 naira, Chicken cross road palm oil is 900 naira a litre. Wetin sef? Ogini? In short I don vex. Make we change this English to correct pidgin abi na who English epp? Yes o I can speak correct and proper English forget anything. 

See our graduates roaming the streets with certificates that no one wants to look at. They make you go to school and work hard, read book cram book, drink coffee chew gum, soak leg inside cold water, go to classes at night to read and mosquitoes doing birthday celebration feasting on your legs, all because you are trying to read so you can make good grades. So you can get a good position for yourself in society. All to no avail because one yeye person that has managed to have position somewhere in one company or office, would not want to employ someone that has the capacity to do the job needed but will want to turn it to family business. Employ your daughter, your son, your niece that is in year one in university will need the job, your unborn baby all join. Our graduates are roaming the streets with nothing to do. Certificates wasting away and rotting in their bags or becoming feats for rats.

Taxi and market people will always look for ways to cheat you. You are fair that means you have money they increase price, you wear Corper uniform enter taxi or market that means you have money, they increase price. Like I said some things never use to bother me because I just manage and pray that it gets better. But right now am raving mad. Why must others suffer for another mans greed? Cost of living is high but nobody wants to know. Yes we are all struggling we are managing, doing the best we can. So why can’t we help each other? You dunno where the next person is coming from or what is going on in their life. Stop seeing dollar or naira sign when you look at a person. Am addressing this to all the taxis and market people out there. Stop it!! Enough is enough!! Ahh ahh!!!…. Na them dey vex me pass. Especially in Cross River State. 

Now I don’t know what happened to the fuel situation here, I don’t know if its all over the country or not. And I don’t want to know cos I don’t care, not really. What I care about is to be able to leave my house and go to work peacefully without anyone trying to rip me off because am fair or smell nice. One day things will be fine and going well, wake up next morning the country is in chaos. 

Our esteem dear Govornor has gone and changed the logo of Cross River State to one ugly looking logo. I no know who send am work. People will stay and look for where to siffon money from. Wetin concern CRS logo with you? Who send you work? The one wey them send you you no do. 

Now you all know the reason for my ravings and I feel much better to have let it all here. So am done for now. Let us continue to pray that God will save us all from this our great country Nigeria. That is if he hasn’t abandoned us too. 

Since every body now is not staying in their country but traveling to China and America and Canada. Let me too come and be going. For those of you that are still here please alert me when the situation of things changes. *brakes private private jet and stylishly catwalks from view* (those of you who get the humor in this, congrats you are intelligent, those that didn’t should wait for my next coming).

DEAR DIARY

DAY ONE – THE MEETING 

Dear dairy….today I met someone. He seems cool and exciting . We chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. He promised to call and meet up.

 We did hook up, he came over to where I work and we went to a calm and relaxed atmosphere, found a cozy nook in a corner and went on to talk about ourselves.

 I found him exciting and caring enough. Free spirited, made me laugh a lot…guess he has a good sense of humour or just wanted to get me to relax. Whichever it was..wth I had fun!!!.. 

  Mum called, had to rush home… Didn’t really want to leave but I had to.

 He took me home, we said our goodbyes and promised to meet again…….

NOCTURAL

I found  out that the only time I get inspiration to write, and actually do some writing is at night. I don’t know if it happens to anyone else.

When I can’t sleep, and am all in bed alone. Especially on a cold night like this one. I get inspiration, thoughts starts coming in, words forming, stories appearing out of nowhere. Then my fingers start flying all over the keyboard as I type away.

 I like that. I like when you are able to write and everything just falls in, you don’t need to strain or experience that awful writers block phase. Gosh how I hate it.

 I remember one time I was writing a good story, I was on my way from work, while in the car…I just felt a good story coming. I had the plot and cast all lined up. My pen and notepad was ready. And I started writing fervently…all of a sudden I stopped, and I couldn’t remember what I was about to write next. I just went blank, staring into space and trying my damnest to remember. Yet nada, zilch, zero, nothing. 

It was so embarrassing and annoying. I hate when that happens in the middle of a story. 

Now I think I got it all figured out. Cold rainy night is the best time for me to write. That is when am not curled up in a blanket sleeping soundly. Hehehe….