I think it is safe to say that most people in Nigeria have had their own share of the “Lagos Experience”. Well this is mine, it is nothing spectacular or insane, but still I wanna share it. So sit back, read, enjoy and perhaps share??
It happened like every other normal story out there. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shinning and the birds chirping rendering out a melodious tune…..Sorry I can’t do this, let’s try again.
When my mum said she is heading to Lagos I decided it was a good time as any to visit some long time friends of mine and get to experience a little bit of “Lagos Life”.
Before the trip I knew I had to face my two greatest fears, well not two greatest per say but seeing as the first greatest doesn’t make much sense, I mean we are in Nigeria and I don’t see any chance of that happening, but then again viruses do get out right?. Btw that fear is the fear of Zombies just in case you are wondering. I know, I know, it is stupid but its my fear not yours so chill.
Anyways I had to prepare my mind for the journey ahead, and facing my fears. Which was 1. Fear of height…boarding a plane and flying to anywhere in the world counted as one. I mean I like my feet planted firmly on the ground you know. I like to feel the solid ground beneath me.
2. I had always feared taking a trip to Lagos. Stupid right? I know. I have this funny mentality about Lagos and I just don’t know why. Maybe I do. I have heard stories about how people get mugged, body parts missing, how if you are a JJC people will use you to shine, the random sudden fights on the streets, you name it, and of course the latest…. SARS.
So there you have it, and I had to face both of them at once. Whew!!!! I mean I had to prep my mind and all, positive thinking and shit. You know plane crashing here and there and all that. I mean that shit is scary as fuck. And there I was about to get into a death trap in a fancy and sophisticated way called an air plane * rolls eyes*
The flight to Lagos wasn’t that bad. I mean aside the fact that I was momentarily deaf from time to time and had to swallow saliva that I didn’t really have at that time to clear my hearing. And the plane dropping altitude and gaining it again at each point. Not like I was scared or anything I just didn’t like the bumpy ride. And my mum tried telling me some stuff about flying and at a point I had to roll my eyes like “Mum chill, I know its my first time flying and all but I have read about it tons of times in novels and shit. And it isn’t like my first rodeo drive” (metaphorically speaking) in my minds eye anyways.
We landed at Lagos international airport ( hope that’s what it’s called) and am like “hmm…not so bad, Lagos is actually looking good. I was amazed we had to get into a bus from the runway to the terminal. In calabar we had to walk to the plane. Lagos airport is sha big. Getting outside I was hit by the stench, I quickly sent a message to my friend: “Your Lagos is smelling” and he replied with “ehn we like it like that”. I never knew Calabar air was so fresh until I inhaled the one in Lagos. Hehehe
Lagos roads are terrible pardon me to say, and there are refuse dumps every inch of the way. I had a bumpy ride to my sister’s place. I couldn’t even type properly on my phone on the way there. Smh .
After getting to my destination and final bus top (my sisters place). I bluntly refused to step outside the house for fear of getting lost or stolen seeing as I am so tiny, I could be put into a bag and no one would know about it, or loosing valuable body part. Yes that’s the mentality I have about Lagos. I mean its so fucking bad it’s scary. My friend had to come to where I was to see me and take me out from there, and he also had to order uber. My sis kept telling me “We don’t say Welcome to Lagos here, we say this is Lagos you have to shine your eye o” That only added to my already fucked up mentality. I had to call uber to anywhere I visited and my friends had to literarily track my movement on the uber app cos I was scared of getting kidnapped. It was that bad. Lmao
Ohhh did I mention our pilot was such a fine specimen? Like omg mm mm mm…such eye candy. At first I was like I am putting my life in the hands of this person? And then I had to really take a good look at the chocolaty goodness. The hostesses were all…hmphh… Whatever its not like they are fine sef. *Throws face one side*
Anywho…I visited the Maryland mall where I was a bit scared of getting on the escalator, I felt like if I don’t step on it properly I might fall off and me falling wasn’t and option at all. Instead I stood there laughing embarrassingly at myself until I gathered enough nerve to get on it. (No one should dare laugh, it was scary but I ain’t ashamed to say it). I also had plans of visiting the beach and probably take pics but was saddened to hear it has been closed down, so sad 😕
Balogun market is a different story all on its own. It was like a tug of war with all the pushing and shoving. People pulling at you to buy their wares, everyone rushing every which way. I almost fell in the market but I am glad I didn’t.
My stay in Lagos is ended and I am taking another flight home, I wish i could have one more week and spend some more time with friends. They are some people I never got to see, hopefully I will on my next visit. And yes I plan to visit again even with my fear of flying and Lagos. But right now I have to get back to work(Tongue out…hehehe)
Btw who else notices how the clouds look from way up in the sky? Such beautiful sight, all fluffy and bouncy looking. I love staring at it. God is indeed wonderful to create something so beautiful. The way they each stand alone is amazing. If you never noticed this please do next time you fly. I wish I had a window seat, I envied those that did and was mad at them for not even bothering to stare out the window. Guess they are tired of seeing it yea? I don’t think I will ever get tired of it. I pray I have a window seat on my next flight. 😀
Nerves still on edge but I will survive. I am pressed and I know if my younger sister was here she will yab me about it. Something about knowing toilet everywhere I go. As if I am MTN everywhere you go.
Gotta go now as the plane is about to take off. Laters loves. Xoxo yours truly CreativelyInsane.